This week has been a hard one to say the least.  We have lost our beloved community Rav, Rabbi Hauer ztl.  Baltimore as a Kehilah, and  Klal Yisroel as a whole  is flying our Nations flag, so to speak at half-mast.  At the same time,  we  are also mourning as individuals for those tragically taken from our community.   Simultaneously, the kedoshim from Simchas Torah 2 years ago are finally coming home and receiving Kevuras Yisroel.  It has been a hard, hard week.

I feel as if I can’t catch my breath from each pang of pain that has come with each petirah.  It feels like birth pangs, and perhaps this is  indeed the Chevlei Mashiach. 

Hashem sends us Nechama in interesting ways.  The words in Shemoneh Esrei jumped out at me early this morning.  We have added it to our davening since Shemini Atzeres day;  Mashiv Ha Ruach U’Morid HaGeshem.  How appropriate it was that when I went to find the English translation, a short article from OU’s website first appeared, from where Rabbi Hauer served as the executive vice president.

Who makes the wind blow and makes the rain descend;

Who sustains the living with kindness, resuscitates the dead with abundant mercy, supports the fallen, heals the sick, releases the confined, and maintains His faith to those asleep in the dust. Who is like You, 0 Master of mighty deeds, and who is comparable to You, 0 King Who causes death and restores life and makes salvation sprout! And You are faithful to resuscitate the dead. Blessed are You, HASHEM, Who resuscitates the dead.

It is this statement in davening that comforted me in the early morning light and dare I say it was  a message that Rabbi Hauer espoused. Hashem is the One Who is Mashiv Ha Ruach, Who makes the wind blow. We will experience the winds of difficulty and challenge because Hashem deems it necessary for us. It is also Hashem Who brings down the Geshem, the rain, which represents Blessing, that He wants to bestow upon us.  There is rain that is productive in that it cleanses and yields growth.  There is also destructive rain, like in the Mabul. It is our job to pray for the rain of blessing.

As I drive through the streets of my hometown, trying to process all the losses, I am struck by the beauty of the fall trees.  Yes, the natural explanation is that as the days shorten and there is less chlorophyll, the pigment which makes the leaves green. Once that wears away with the lessening of the sun’s light the true colors that are inherent in the leaf come out in a  beautiful array of  red, yellow and orange, with each tree showcasing a different hue.  My husband jokes that he does not like fall because the trees are dying.  Correct he is,  however, I look at it differently.  It is at the end of ones life that the true colors of the Avodas Hashem this person worked on is revealed. We are just starting to see the beauty that was in each of the members of our precious town.  It is dazzling and all the more so devastating.

The mitzvah of Nichum Aveilim, of comforting mourners, is stated in the plural form.  Perhaps it is because we are not just comforting the family but comforting ourselves as well. We pray that the beloved souls taken from us be a Meilitz Yosher for their families, for the Baltimore community and ultimately for the Jewish Nation. May this year herald in the ultimate blessing of Geshem with the Geulah Sheleimah.